Friday, August 17, 2012

Free Pussy Riot!

Maria Alyokhina – Nadezhda Tolokonnikova – Yekaterina Samutsevich

I wish I could say that Putin is the sole person to blame for this atrocity but sadly enough he has an abundance of people supporting him.

I am reading the testimonies against them [Pussy Riot] as I'm writing this and am appalled. It makes my blood boil how they are so desperate to pin anything on them that they would resort to calling harmless purely politically motivated feminist activism "Religious Hatred Motivated Hooliganism". Listen to this, "Not wearing scarfs and long skirts, taking pictures, disrupting the normal functions of the church, the dresses rode up when they bowed (they were wearing stockings you Neanderthal)". I have yet to read a single compelling reason as to why these girls have to spend time in jail.

Granted from a musical perspective Pussy Riot isn't exactly what I wake up to every morning but the whole point is to attract as much attention as you could and fact of the matter is they were far from disrespectful. What matters is they were doing what the majority of Russians were supposed to do. You are one of two people, you are either the person who points out the flaws in the system, or you are part of the flawed system. We are no longer living in the dark ages. Fundamentalists are exactly the same regardless of the ideology. These girls might go to jail for up to 7 years for standing up for what they believe is right and mind you, not having harmed a single person.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Noise - Michael Campi

I wake up one morning to the most awful noise I have ever heard. A shrill, scratchy, warbling, pulsating siren whose volume is just on the edge of being painful. I run outside in my bathrobe to try to find the source of the noise, but it is directionless. It seems to be coming from all directions, everywhere.

Standing there on my front lawn, I notice all my neighbors are out as well, many with hands pressed against their ears, some running around franticly like they have mosquitoes trapped in their ear wax. Every dog in the city is howling, adding a thousand dissonant harmonies to the awful noise in the air. I ask a neighbor what it is, and he doesn't know. Spotting a news helicopter overhead, I turn on the local news. The report says that the noise is not just in my town. It's being heard everywhere, all over the world, and its source is still undetermined.

Everyone wears earplugs while we wait for the noise to end, but it doesn't end. Weeks pass and no one can figure out where it's coming from. Scientists are baffled. Unsure what else to do, the Pentagon raises the National Alert level up a few colors. Business and commerce falls into chaos, as no one can communicate clearly over the deafening noise. Houses and businesses are retrofitted with soundproof walls, and this helps, but the noise still gets through. Few can afford the level of soundproofing necessary to totally silence it. Special "Soundproof Cafes" begin popping up everywhere, featuring soothing nature sounds and white-noise to counter the Noise that gets through the ultra-insulated walls.

People begin to develop innovative new ways of communicating. Millions learn sign language. Others constantly wear earphones connected to tiny microphones, which they can swap with whoever they need to talk to. All music concerts but the loudest rock shows become obsolete. For the average working man, there is nowhere on earth he can go where he won't hear the Noise at least as loud as a muted trumpet.

Years pass, and society rearranges itself. Slowly, people adapt. They get used to the Noise. Kids develop street slang for it, like "The Banshee" and "Old Squeaky". Musicians begin writing songs to incorporate the Noise, which most agree is more or less a C sharp. Eventually, there is an entire generation that was born with the Noise, and has never known a world without it. The Noise becomes a part of life.
Fifty years later, the Noise just stops.

Everyone on Earth instantly goes insane.

Society crumbles. Crazed and senseless, mankind stops reproducing. One by one, everyone dies. The human race becomes extinct.

It is now very, very quiet.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Behind the curtain

I have an extremely high level of interest and curiosity in a lot of things,
I'm not a typical Arab stereotype regardless of what it implies,
Most of my decisions and choices are made on the spot,
I'm against xenophobia and the theologically bigoted,
I try to lead an extremely healthy life – When I can,
I love cats, one day I’m going to get a Siberian,
I'm in love with the Baroque movement,
My favorite possession is a red collage,
I used to play musical instruments,
I have a high respect for nature,
I’m very technologically savvy,
I'm an Investment Banker,
I'm a paradox. I'm direct,
I read and write a lot,
A movie enthusiast,
I’m a dreamer,
I’m stubborn,
I'm a Pisces.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Be

"People who lean on logic and philosophy and rational exposition end by starving the best part of the mind" - W.B. Yeats

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Repetition

It’s been some time since I last wrote here. I had a hundred things I wanted to write but not one of them felt right. I was told an hour ago that a very close relative of an acquaintance of mine had passed away. I don’t really know the person very well but that piece of news shocked me more than I thought possible. I never know how to feel in situations like these. I know how to react and what I’m supposed to do or say, never what to feel. It was as if someone had held my throat and squeezed until my very last breath slowly seeped out. My heart was pounding so slowly I couldn’t tell even with my hand on my chest.


I have been writing and erasing lines for close to 20 minutes now. Just starting at this blank white screen. I’m slowly getting more free time. Things were going great until the last few days. Nothing of any importance minute or major happened. I have come to realize that it is nothing other than a cycle that I keep going through week in and week out. I thought working out is a great way of reducing stress and letting out everything that I usually bottle in. It was working at first, it was working splendidly because it was new. It’s done now. It’s not working for me anymore. I need something new. I need to pick up a habit. Good or bad I don’t really care. I need to find some sort of addiction that could hook me and tie me up for the next month or so. My mind is completely blank and I’m not really attempting to make a point. Okay so here’s what it is. It no longer is an issue of where I am. It has become what where I am made me. Someone who is intolerant. Someone with an even shorter fuse. Someone who is disgustingly unimpressed with anything. I don’t know whether this is going to be something permanent or just for as long as I’m here.

Everything is going by like a dull flashback. No sound. No color. These past 2 days I’ve been waking up with absolutely no motivation to do anything. I ever so enjoy complicating my life by thinking about things that I know will aggravate me. I was almost a somewhat optimistic man. Always see the glass half-full. Always try and find the good thing in whatever happens. This is being slowly taken away. I just do whatever it is I think I NEED to do. Apart from that,,, nothing. I keep thinking to myself, it’s alright, just a couple of weeks and you’ll go on the vacation that’s going to change everything. Who am I kidding. Time is so irrelevant whether I’m here or there. A few weeks for a man on vacation is nothing, a few hours for a man in prison is a lifetime. There is something fundamentally wrong and needs fixing as soon as possible before something even bigger breaks.

I need a motivation. Wait,,, motivation? Why have motivation? For what? Life is all about repetition, in which you need no hope and is contrary. However routine should not be seen as a bad thing, it removes choice, it demolishes free will and with choice and free will comes doubt and with doubt regret and with regret, melancholy. Think of Sisyphus, forever doomed to roll a boulder up a hill, but in the moment when it rolls down he is free. I might have digressed but the point remains. I’m going to try something. As contradictory as it sounds at first, me making those choices to begin with (you’ll get it in a second). I’m going to try and create solid routine that I follow “religiously” (for lack of a better word, I’m not exactly the most dedicated practitioner) and see how that goes. No impulsive out of the schedule actions. If that works well, so be it. If not, I still have every single lifeless intellectually mutilating day here to try other methods.


God bless you.

Saturday, June 11, 2011

Revelation

It's a little after midnight and I am back in a very familiar setting. After months of not writing I found myself staring at the blinking cursor on the top left of a blank screen. See, this always happens. I jump at the opportunity to negate someone when he/she give any opinion on anything. I find myself diving into an hour long debate and dragging them down with me. Best part is, more often than not I could not care less about what the topic is. Better yet, I find even more pleasure in arguing against someone who shares my opinion.

I digress. The ironic thought that I wanted to mention a "few" words back was that I always have something to say about anything and everything; except when it comes to writing it all down. This made much more sense in my head so I'm going to try and break it up a bit (for my sake more than yours, trust me). I never had a problem expressing myself, nor have I had any issues in finding the right combination of words to be able to get myself out of (or into, on a more morbid note) anything. Problem is, when it comes to me wanting to have a daily journal or something along those lines, nothing seems to come out. I envy those who sit and write their daily events and conquests. I tried that oh so many times but to no avail.

In order for one to be able to nurture his/her sense of achievemnt

I've been feeling my frustration, anger, and intolerance building up again. My relief options are being crossed off the list by the day. I need a break and I need to leave. The one thing I'm worried about is the aftermath of a break. Things are usually much easier when you have something to look forward to. I have an upcoming trip and the mere thought of it is as energizing as anything could be. Then what? I return and sink into this baron emotionless slow paced gut-wrenching soul exhausting abyss of a routine. Sleep - Work - Gym - Sleep.

I am now convinced more than ever that I need this, I need what I'm doing. I need to have a reference to see where I am years from now and where I was now. I am a slightly arrogant person but then again who isn't. I am far from the worst I've ever seen. There is something missing. There is a thirst that I'm dying to quench but the difficult part is knowing what it is. I am sick and tired of the useless godforsaken advice everyone keeps throwing at my face. Prioritize, fill-up your time, find something to do. Yea well I am doing all these things. I am capitalizing all my free time but for all the wrong reasons. I started boxing again.I'm working out. I'm doing non-work related projects. I'm socializing more. That sounds great on paper but why I'm doing those things is something I don't know. I don't know why I picked a sport that completely shattered my nose that I can hardly use my nostrils anymore but I do it, and quite frankly, I have never had more of a passion for anything. I don't workout to be healthy I'm doing it because it is the safest way of getting all the anger out. I'm not socializing because I have this need in me to be around people. All of these things I use to completely eradicate every second of free time I have because free time means thinking about a lot of things which is I'm trying to avoid. I keep convincing myself that me being here is me doing the right, smart, and mature thing. I'm not really thinking of the future or whatever it holds. I'm living it day by day which is completely hypocritical to the reasoning behind me being here.

I don't know what it is but what I do know is that I need to do something drastic so I don't fall back in the same havoc wreaking reckless spiral I was in when I first came here. Actually, I think being here helped me out in a few manners. For starters, I am forced to learn how to calm down; how to take things lightly. Most of my problems have always been because of my short fuse. I decided to change a lot of things and the reason I never took this decision before is because of my ego. I wasn't ready to decide to change and then when not succeeding hanging up the gloves. It was too large for my pride to swallow. In any case, here I am now with a large project on my hands. Whether I can mold myself into what I think I should be. This conclusion isn't for anyone or to impress anyone; its because I have become far too physically, emotionally, and psychologically tired of being so angry all the time.